Who should adopt Black children? White, Black, or does it really matter as long as the child has a safe and caring home? Should we give the “side-eye” to Madonna and Angelina Jolie for having a cultural rainbow in their families and viewing their Black children as accessories? Does this confuse the child or enrich them?

Personally I do not care who adopts Black children or children in general. Sometimes it is sad that people cannot see the blessings these children have recieved. They are no longer living in a orphanage lacking parents who will love and care for them, they are being taken care of and can grow up in a family home and environment. Nancy from Clean House made a joke about this at this year’s BET Awards, you can google it or look it up on youtube, and I didn’t see the humor. Honestly I thought it was pretty ignorant. In Africa due to disease, war, and poverty there will be a estimate of 20 million orphan children by the year 2010. In 2006, Americans adopted 21,000 children from other countries outside the USA and only 441 of them were from Africa. I don’t see too many people willing to adopt from Africa so why clown Madonna and Angelina for making it easier and possibly saving the life of a child. If you teach a child and instill values in them that everyone is God’s children they do not see color. Hence, it should not be a problem if a White person raises a Black child, they may hear and get treated a certain way outside of their home but they will come home to Mommy and Daddy and they will be taught and told the same thing to love everyone until they reach an age where they can understand.

How do you feel?

What’s the point? If you are not ready to commit to ONE person then maybe you don’t need to be in a relationship. Our notorious Black Hollywood couple Will Smith and Jada Pickett-Smith came out and said they had an open marriage and that contributed to the success of their marriage. Is an open marriage the only way to have a successful relationship? Seriously. The institution of marriage is a union between two people who should be in love and have came before God to promise their love and their all to one another. If you are not willing to make that sacrifice then maybe marriage or that relationship is not for you. Not everyone is meant to be in relationships, so why not remain single instead of ruining the sacred meaning of what marriage is about. People who are in open relationships and marriages are not in love and if you are not in love then you shouldn’t get married, that is the source of the problem of divorce, people get married for the wrong reasons. When you are in love the thought of being with another person does not cross your mind because you are so consumed and satisfied with your lover.

There is nothing wrong with being single. I have grew tired of hearing my friends complain about not having anyone to hold or when a guy stops calling them it is the end of the world. Live your life. Before you can give yourself to another person you have to Love God and Love Yourself. I know that everyone may not be religious or believe but if you do not know the love of God then you do not know love. It took me awhile to understand what that meant and to love myself. How do you expect someone else to love you if you do not love yourself. Why let a man control your happiness to the point you fall apart with him clearly you do not love yourself. I am in love with a man who will most likely be my husband but if he were to leave me, I will be crushed, but eventually I will be alright and I will survive because I have God in my life and I had to come to terms with the fact everything happens for a reason. I cannot dwell on the past and over analyze everything that happens. Take it as a lesson learned and move on. My friend allowed one man who she did not have a relationship with just sex and conversation ruin her entire summer to the point I couldn’t be around her for long.

If you are single you have to tell yourself and understand that God will put the person who needs to be in your life when he sees fit. If you are hurt by a man don’t give up, it kills me when I hear of women who get their heartbroken and they become lesbians not because that is their preference (there is nothing wrong with being gay) but they are tired of men and they give up. Another common factor among single women is their requirements for a man. If your standards of a good man include car, money, own place, over six feet tall, certain skin color, clothing preference, or any other superficial trait then there is the problem. There is nothing wrong with wanting a man who is successful or well off but if you want him to double everything that you have..no wonder you are still single. Teedra Moses “For a lifetime” got me through my days of being single its a beautiful song and the whole point is one day you will find a love for a lifetime.

Its one thing to simply discuss the infamous debate between light skin tone versus dark skin tone within the Black community. I want to discuss why this is even relevant today. You would think after years of slavery we would prosper as a people but due to a man named Willie Lynch we have only turned against each other and created colorism and hatred against our own people. Willie Lynch was a slaveowner and he gave a speech in 1712 about his secret of how to control Africans by setting them against one another. The system of placing the lighter complexed slaves in the house and darker complexed slaved in the fields to work is where it all started. This created the perception that the lighter skinned slaves being in the house were better because they were the ones who cooked, cleaned, and took care of the master’s children which the darker skinned slaves worked in the hot sun in the fields.

Then with the emergance of media, this was another way in which they [White America] can not only control how we feel against one another but what we see in television. BET (Black Entertainment Television) is not owned by Black people, BET is owned by Viacom which owns MTv, UPN (The CW), VH1, etc. There is a reason why Free was the only Black woman allowed to host a primetime show, ever since then BET hired women of different ethnicities who were lightskinned. There is a reason why on the 106 & Park set alone they position the audience based on skin tone. The darker complexed sat in the back and were rarely on camera unless they had expensive or presentable clothes on while lighter skinned audience members were placed in the front. Then the recent fuckery from Young Berg who decided he doesn’t do “dark buts”, then the accusations of Halle Berry not being happy because her baby was not “light” enough, which ended up being false but the fact that was in question is disturbing, then the recent Beyonce so-called “white washed” Lorreal Ad . In my opinion Yung Berg is just ignorant and Beyonce is a light skinned woman. She wears blonde hair, get over it, just because she wears blonde hair does not make her more White and less Black. There is a reason why over the years Lil’Kim has made an effort through makeup and plastic surgery to make herself lighter and this actually goes deeper than most people know. Biggie was married to Faith Evans who is light skinned and Lil’Kim was his sideline ho, this might have created a complex in her mind that she was not good enough to be his wife because of her skin color, she wasn’t beautiful enough.

It just kills me when I hear some girls say that they are beautiful because they are lightskinned and all lightskinned girls are pretty. Skin color does not make you more beautiful or better than anyone else, beauty does. I’m in between with a caramel complexion but I have had guys approach me before and say you light enough for me to talk to, or they would refer to one of my best friends who is dark skinned as saying she is pretty to be dark skinned. What do you mean by that? Pretty to be dark skinned as if all dark skinned women are ugly. I know plenty of dark complexed women who are beautiful, fabulous, and fiercee. Black Women are beautiful in all different shapes, sizes, and shades, I just hope and pray for the day when more of the world accepts this and we as a people can put to rest what Willie Lynch has being doing to Black people. Its a sad state that we are in and living through, from skin color war, gang killing, black men against black men, numbers of black men in prison, and even more the fact that Willie Lynch finally got what he wanted.